Gratz to the Feds

According to the ACLU gender identity is now protected from employment discrimination within the federal government. I know this has to be a huge relief for families if TG employees. My partners place of employment has non-discrim policies and its nice to know his employer affords some protection even though the state where we live in does not. Of course, we still have some worry when there comes a time when his documented gender could come up, but so far so good, and hopefully it will stay that way.

A Great Step Forward in a Long Journey

This is a little late because I got caught up in school, but The big news in the GLBT community last week was Pres. Obama signing the Matthew Shepard Act into law. This law brings the GLBT community into the classes protected from hate crimes. It was a long, painful road to get here, but it makes me even more optimistic that every day will bring more headway on the GLBT rights front. I get discouraged sometimes because it seems like everything we want to do is a fight. My beloved and I want to adopt a child within a couple of years of my graduation, we want to get married, and we want to protect what little we have scraped together while working towards our future. But to do all this we have to take 50 million more things into account than your normal couple.

For example, adoption. The state we live in makes it illegal for us to adopt a baby, since technically, we are still a gay couple. So we are looking at out of the country adoption but the international adoption book says that no country will KNOWINGLY place a baby with a gay couple. So I apply as a single person? Doesn't that disregard what will be a 12-13 year long, great relationship? Where does that leave Hayden as a parent? And what about us being a trans couple and Hayden legally being male by then? Or do I try to get pregnant even that it will cost a mint, and due to health problems, I might not be able carry it to term? But it will give us more protection as a family.

All of these things to think about just to start a family with my partner. In some ways its good because we can plan, but bad because we HAVE to plan. The hope I have for it all is that it will be easier for us because I am (well will be) a lawyer, that the rules will change, and that everything, as ususal, will work out exactly the way it is supposed to.

Girls in Tuxes?? Not if This School Can Help It!

An openly gay girl in Mississippi wants to wear her tux in her senior pic. However, she is told that the photo will not be included. Why? Because it is against the "convictions" of the people who run the school, even though there is not policies in place to effect that women can not wear tuxes, or other masculine attire. Translation for those of you who don't have the pleasure of living in the south. "These weirdo q*ueers freak us out and instead of trying to find common ground, we are going to pretend that they don't exist."

Take the time to email the people with "convictions" and let them know that everyone's convictions are important (and in this case, protected by the first amendment), not just theirs.

Of course, this just affirms why I, an openly queer woman, am in law school and is busting her hump to open her own practice. This is the kind of thing I hope to have a small hand, if not a large one, in abolishing.

"Freedom is not the same thing as being Free" ~ PC

*edited because of my lack of grammar skills at bedtime, :)

DOMA & Marry Memories

The ABA is asking Congress to repeal the section of DOMA that denies federal benefits to legally married gay couples. I absolutely love the fact that the ABA is standing up for GLBT rights. While I do wish that the DOMA in it's entirety would be struck down, I also realize that small steps forward are still steps.

In fact, sometimes I am amazed at how far gay rights have come since I came out 15 years ago. I was cleaning out my bookshelves over my break and flipping through my gay book collection. One book I have is The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings. I remember buying that in my local Books-a-Few 9 years ago, I remember the stares and down right evil looks I got as I paid for it, and how certain people would no longer shop in the store I worked in within the same mall after I bought it, I remember how hard it was to hold me head up and look people who liked me a second ago in the eye as the hate washed over their faces. But what struck me most about it was the fact that it was a handbook on how to make your wedding the best it could be with what little, if any, resources the GLBT community had back then. There was nothing to fall back on, unless you lived in a MAJOR city, when planning your wedding but your own creativity and desire for the ceremony.

Now there are gay couples getting married on TV, theKnot.com has a same-sex ceremony site, cities and states are legalizing our marriages and unions, gay honeymoon packages abound, the new edition of The Essential Guide to Gay and Lesbian Weddings is available, and there are more marriage resources than you can shake a stick at.

I guess the point I am trying to make is, yes, it is frustrating to still be fighting the homophobes that shriek when we walk through the door and clutch their children in fear, it is frustrating that we are denied basic human rights, but we HAVE made progress and continue to do so. Every little step still is a step pulling us closer and closer to equality and farther away from the time where a girl had to be afraid to buy a simple little book. And I am glad that I am becoming a part of the fight to go forward.

More after finals!

I am in the final stretch before my first law exams. I have one next Friday and then one the following Monday. I plan on being back here within a couple days of the last final to blog about some very cool developments on the Gay Rights front. I have just been to busy making sure I am not going to completely bomb my first exams and have to go back to bringing people more ranch dressing for their salads. See you in a week!

Supreme Court FTL

The Supreme Court turned down the challenge to the "Don't ask, Don't Tell" policy citing that the policy contributes to the necessary cohesion of the military.

What?

So knowing the guy standing next to you is gay will make your unit less cohesive? If this is true, and gay people are still that freaky and threatening to the other members of their unit, why not spend some time educating the phobes within the unit? Teach them that everyone is different (and that's OK), something I thought we all learned in kindergarten, and that just because your bunk buddy is gay, doesn't mean he wants to screw you.

But instead of spending sometime educating people, and forming cohesion through genuine friendship, the government instead sees fit to preserve cohesion by forcing people to live stealth, to not get married, if they are lucky enough to live in a state they can, and to pretend they basically have no life outside of their military role. I call BS.

From what I understand the military strongly is in favor of family support and ties, knowing that military personnel need it more than most people do. Too bad they feel that only state sanctioned families count.

Turning the Tables

The ABA journal posted this article about gays suing various people and intuitions that refuse to take part or be connected with same sex ceremonies. Among them are the eHarmony website, a Christian photographer that refused to take pictures of a same sex ceremony and state entities that want to bar services to gays.

Being part of the GLBT community myself, I understand the fight for equal rights and wanting to be treated fairly by everyone as the straight community is but this is absurd. For example, why force people to perform same sex ceremonies, photograph them or otherwise participate in them when they obviously do not want to. First, this is supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Why ruin it by having it performed by some sour faced minister that thinks you and your partner are repugnant forms of humanity that should and will burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity. I would prefer someone who actually was happy for me blessing my new life. Second, there are churches, officiants, party planners, photographers etc etc that would be THRILLED to get their hands on our "dual income- no kid" wallet. Let them and support those that support us.

But most importantly, when we force our beliefs and morals on the Religous Right we are, essentially, no better then them. How can we wave our fists and demand the right to marry without them throwing King James at us when we are going to march into their churches and demand they marry us? Now we are the asses forcing others to believe our way, when we have been fighting against that same thing for decades.

Lets do what we have been telling them to do to us for years. Leave your beliefs out of my life.

Vermont Legalizes Gay Marriage and Overrides Veto

Gay Marriage is now legal in Vermont.

In a past post I stated that a bill had passed through Vermont's legislature to legalize Gay Marriage, however, the Governor was expected to veto the bill. Which he did. But, but with the lowest margin possible, the Vermont legislature voted out the veto effectively legalizing marriage between GLBT couples.

Nice job Vermont!! It is amazing to see the legislature band together to ensure that all their constituents have equal rights and protections under the law.

Iowa Rules in Favor of Gay Marriage

The Iowa Supreme Court unanimously ruled that the Iowa definition of marriage existing only between one man and one woman was unconstitutional. This suit, started when 6 couples were denied marriage licenses in Polk County. This year is shaping up to be an exciting time in Alternative Family and Gay Rights Law.

Read the full decision here.